Nevada County Citizens For Choice

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How Men’s Attitudes About Sex, Affection and Their Bodies Affect Their Health

June 21, 2014 By Freddy Zylstra

Men, affection, and sex. The subject could fill volumes, if only they would talk about it – openly and honestly.

They are taught from a very young age to pursue sexual encounters. Pre-adolescent boys are often exposed early to thinking of women as objects, even by well-meaning parents.  A father, mesmerized by a beer commercial featuring a nearly naked woman, can send a message – they are bodies, not people.  As always, a parent’s actions, rather than words, teach a child.

Adding to the onslaught of movies, television, and advertisements objectifying women, many men have a difficult time differentiating affection from sex.  Often parents are lavishly and openly affectionate with girls, and little boys are expected to stoically refrain from spontaneous hugging and kissing with their fathers.  In his article, ‘A Scarcity of Affection Among Men’( http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/j1b-a-scarcity-of-affection-among-men/), Jackson Bliss speaks of men learning to seek affection as sexual behavior, as opposed to social behavior. According to Bliss, it leaves a terrible wound in the male psyche – the remnants of a little boy who just needed to be hugged more often by the male role-models in his life.girls night out

Gender stereotypes are alive and well, with women winning hands down in the affection department.  We openly hug our sisters, mothers, and friends.  We brush each other’s hair. We collaborate, share, laugh and cry together.  It’s harder for men to form close, meaningful friendships with other men that don’t involve some shared physical activity such as baseball, bowling, or car racing.

How does this affect men’s sexual health?  They typically aren’t as open or forthcoming when discussing their sexual health with their physician.  As a society, we appear to reinforce that behavior. ‘Well-Woman’ visits are now a part of the Affordable Health Care Act. What about ‘Well-Man’ care?  Why is it we encourage men by virtue of omission to only seek care when they are writhing on the floor in agony? Why aren’t physicians taught the huge differences in communication styles between men and women – and how to initiate a more effective conversation with their male patients?

Many young women have annual gynecological visits beginning when they are teens, which include a pelvic exam, pap test, vaccinations, and even sexual health counseling. This early interaction with a health care provider who encourages them to ask questions and bring up issues simply makes women more comfortable with the process in general. Young men are mostly treated with the attitude ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’, and never see a doctor for a sexual health issue unless they have a serious problem. In fact, fewer than 25% of boys age 15-19 receive any sexual health counseling, while the number for girls is 66%.

In a 2011 health survey for men conducted by Esquire Magazine, prostate exams caused men the most anxiety, despite the fact that cancer was the disease they most feared.  In spite of their fears, only 45% of men actually went to the doctor, compared to a majority of women. Men in this survey (which was, not surprisingly, anonymous) also admitted that talking to a doctor about their genitals, bowels, or mental health was embarrassing.

How do we help men become more comfortable both in seeking early medical care and talking about their bodies?  How do we help them learn that they, too, are responsible for their sexual health and that of their partners? That affection and sexual desire aren’t always the same emotion?

Start early.  If you have a son, encourage him to share his affection with the men in his life.  Fatherhood is shifting, with more men taking an active role in the raising of children.  Talk with your spouse about the mental and physical health benefits of showing affection.  Support organizations such as Planned Parenthood and Citizens for Choice – The Clinic!  in their endeavor to provide reproductive health care and education to men and women equally.C for C Just for Men iStock_000012635443XSmall

Best of all, keep the conversation going.  Share this blog with the men in your life.  Give them a hug and tell them the greatest gift they could give you is their long-term health.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: men and sex, men's reproductive health care, men's sexuality

How Access To Reproductive Health Care Affects Men

October 5, 2012 By Freddy Zylstra

How access to reproductive healthcare affects men

“I’d thought sexuality was instinctive or natural, but it’s profoundly linked to inner security and cultural context.”

-Tahar Ben Jelloun, poet and philosopher

 

It seems that in the almost constant barrage of attacks on women’s reproductive rights, the loud wrangling and attempts by very conservative males to take away what should be a given – that is, control over our bodies – men’s reproductive rights are stuck in the coat closet with the deflated soccer ball and moth-eaten wool parka only to be examined on rare occasions.

Why is this?  Why are men’s reproductive rights assumed and even celebrated while women have to wage an ongoing war just to protect theirs?  One would think that the two are separate species, whose participation is not equally required to create another human being.

And yet, in spite of, or perhaps because of, the disparity in public perception, men’s rights to access to reproductive healthcare is often overlooked.

In part, this is due to the stereotype that it is a woman’s job to provide the birth control method. Many men are fearful of getting an exam and opt for the ‘head in the sand’ approach –what they don’t know can’t hurt them.

Is this a cultural issue?  In some third world countries, men who contract a sexually transmitted disease are considered ‘blameless’, and some even feel that sex can be the cure – thinking that sex with a virgin will cure AIDS. Lest you think that this myth exists only in rural African cultures, history reveals that the myth of the Virgin Cure has a culturally diverse history stretching back to 16th century Europe where there existed a widespread belief that sexual intercourse with a virgin was a cure for syphilis. (http://www.scienceinafrica.co.za/2002/april/virgin.htm)

Are men’s self-perceptions beginning to evolve in a more positive way?

There is hope. According to the Wall Street Journal in May, 2012, a recent study by researchers at Ohio State University found that not only are men’s personal identities directly linked to being fathers, but so is their health. In a paper presented at the Population Association of America’s annual conference, the researchers reported that more paternal involvement was associated with decreases in substance-abuse, depression and risky behaviors for low-income fathers. There was also a correlation between involved fathers and their own self-reported physical health – those who participated in raising their children felt they had better health overall and were more likely to seek preventive medical care.

In a 2010 report published by the Future of Children, a joint project of Princeton University and the Brookings Institution, researchers were surprised to learn that  “involvement with their offspring is high even among fathers who are not in a romantic relationship with the mother.” Even more striking, the study found that  “a high proportion of all unmarried fathers say that they want to be involved in raising their child, and the mothers say they want the father’s involvement.”

 A study by the International Conference on Population and Development postulated that by providing better access to reproductive health care for men, breaking the cultural barriers and preconceived beliefs held by men about their sexual health the following could be expected:

  • Slow the transmission of STI’s
  • Prevention of more unintended pregnancies
  • Encourage the practice of responsible fatherhood
  • Reduce abuse of women
  • Provide better family planning

Some solutions offered to begin the necessary change:

  • Create Primary Health Centers geared to meet both men and women’s needs and begin to look at reproduction as an event that requires both sexes
  • Develop more contraceptive options for men
  • Provide education to dispel rumors and misconceptions about reproductive health care for men
  • Work to change unfavorable social and cultural climates
  • Change provider bias against male involvement

Clearly, providing access to quality reproductive health care and education for both men and women will have positive repercussions.  By involving men in becoming more responsible for their own reproductive health, we empower them to play a more active role in their sexuality and the consequences of that sexuality.

In partnership with Citizens for Choice, The Clinic!, staffed by Women’s Health Specialists, offers services to both men and women.  For more information, visit www.citizensforchoice.org ‘just for men’ and ‘The Clinic!’ or www.womenshealthspecialists.org.

For more information, see:  (http://www.unfpa.org/swp/2000/english/ch04.html ‘Men, Reproductive Rights and Gender Equality’)

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: access to health care for everyone, Health care, men's reproductive health care, men's sexuality

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