Nevada County Citizens For Choice

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Considering Adoption

September 10, 2012 By Freddy Zylstra

Both the courage and trust of those who decide to place their babies for adoption and the enthusiasm of those who adopt them are overwhelmingly vindicated by the tens of thousands of successful adoptions that take place in this country every year.

The New Yorker, editorial

 

The assumption that a birth mother who could give her child up for adoption is somehow lacking in maternal instinct is far from the truth.  Birth parents are often in life circumstances which make it nearly impossible for them to provide proper care and nurturing of their baby.  These parents make a loving but heart-wrenching decision to put the needs of their baby before their own.  It can be the ultimate sacrifice.

In days past, adoptions were done in secret and records were sealed.  It was felt that the child would be better off not knowing anything about her biological family – somehow the burden of knowing would be too great.  There was the feeling that the birth mother must not want any contact – after all, why would she give up a baby if she wanted to see her grow up? 

Times have changed.  Many babies now find their families through open adoption.  This process, though charged with much conflicting emotion, can be a loving and compassionate experience for both birth parents and adoptive parents.  It takes great courage to give a child up for adoption; a selfless act of protectiveness and love. 

Even though a birth mother may know adoption is the right choice, the actual surrendering of the baby may cause her to go through the phases of grief – numbness, shock, denial, depression, anger,  guilt, and finally acceptance.  Often, there is no acknowledgment of her feelings, or support from family or friends.  They simply fail to see this as a loss.  Nearly all agencies specializing in open adoption provide counseling to the birth parents to assist them through these emotions and help them come to resolution.  Just knowing that someone understands and supports them is comforting.

What about adoptive parents?  They may often feel as if they are applying for a job – and in many ways that is true.  It may be the most important job of their lives.  They want to show what good parents they will be, that they are able to financially support the child, and are trustworthy and responsible.  It can be difficult to do this and allow your individual personality to shine through.  One of the complaints voiced by birth parents is that all the bios start to sound the same. 

Some adoptive parents feel guilty for taking the child from the biological mother – the event can be infused with such wild swings of emotion – and empathy sparks the realization that although the biological mother may be making a sound and positive decision, she feels pain at the separation.

These are challenges that must be dealt with – for all involved – through counseling, honest communication, and respect.  Many are able to navigate these waters with grace and aplomb, resulting in the best possible outcome for the child.

Some of the most successful adoptions are open, with the biological mother and her extended family participating in a blanket of love and support for the child.  The children seem to benefit from the idea that they have a very large group of people who love them.  Contrary to what some naysayers claim, most of these children have no confusion about the role each of the players holds in their lives.

Who should adopt?  Being a loving parent entrusted to raise a healthy, happy child is not an exclusive ability of two heterosexual Caucasian parents.  Parents come in all types, ethnicities, sexual orientation,  marital status, religion and age.  To be a parent simply means you love a child unequivocally, and put his or her needs first.  You are a teacher of life and champion cheerleader. 

In Florida just a few years ago, it was illegal for a gay couple to adopt.  They could, however, be a foster parent.  Apparently the Florida legislature felt it was safe for a gay couple to act as an ‘interim’ parent to the most vulnerable of children, but as permanent parents – they just didn’t cut it.  Their lawmakers finally came to their senses and realized the hypocrisy. 

Not so long ago, single parents-to-be and interracial couples were also discouraged from adopting.  The narrow view of who makes a good parent has, thankfully, changed.  Now, many open-adoption agencies are encouraging birth parents to be actively involved in the choice of adoptive parents for their baby.  This empowering method gives a voice to the birth parent, and engenders a much higher success rate for the adoption, and therefore the child.  Families come in all shapes and sizes – those who are successful are the ones with plenty of love and support to go around. 

Adopted children may have the same issues as biological children, and some unique to their own situation.  Particularly in adolescence, it is normal for an adopted child to ask about the biological parent, and want to understand why that parent decided to give them up.  An open adoption with extended families involved can make this transition to adulthood easier.    Hurt and anger can take center stage while the child works the problems out.  Feelings of rejection and loss are valid to a teen, who may view life in a less comprehensive and understanding way than an adult.    Counseling can be very critical at this point to help adolescents develop their own sense of identity and self-worth. 

The good news is that given a loving and nurturing family, a supportive and positive birth and extended family, adopted children can grow into confident, self-assured and productive adults. 

Adoption Choices of Northern California (run by Women’s Health Specialists) offers a wonderful program of open-adoption, without bias due to age, marital status, sexual orientation, ethnicity, or religion.  They firmly believe that the birth parent is the obvious choice to decide who will raise their child.  Encouraging the birth parent(s) and adoptive parents to have open, honest communication and develop their own relationship for the sake of the child, they open the possibilities and opportunities for the child to succeed in life.  What more could you ask?

For more information, see:

http://www.womenshealthspecialists.org/our-services/adoption

http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/openadoption.php

Women’s Health Specialists, in partnership with Citizens for Choice, runs The Clinic! in Grass Valley.  www.citizensforchoice.org

 

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Adoption choices, adoption in Nevada County, all about adoption, open adoption

What If I’m Pregnant?

August 21, 2012 By Freddy Zylstra

What if I’m Pregnant?’

 

“The condom broke. I know how stupid that sounds.  Its the reproductive version of the dog ate my homework.”

― Jennifer Weiner, Little Earthquakes

 

Pregnancy.  It happens.  Whether you are trying to get pregnant, or it is completely unexpected, it seems that Mother Nature doesn’t always consider your viewpoint.

Contrary to what Representative Todd Akin recently said about ‘a woman’s body blocking an unwanted pregnancy’, women can become pregnant as long as they are fertile.  Period.  This is science, not conjecture.  His comments infer that somehow the woman’s egg has a brain of its own, and is able to swim backward in avoidance of those unwanted sperm.

So, what do you do?  Fortunately, despite the raging controversy about birth control and the negative climate of politics regarding women’s issues at the moment, you do still have choices.

Many women are thrilled to learn they are pregnant.  Some who may have been taken by surprise at the news eventually warm to the idea.  Yet others, finding themselves in a situation from which they don’t see a clear path, want more information.

What are some of the choices available to Women?

Carrying the baby to term and raising the child.  If this is your choice, you will need to arrange for excellent pre-natal care during your pregnancy.  A healthful diet, proper exercise, and regular checkups by an obstetrician are important to increase your chances of a trouble free pregnancy and delivery, and a healthy baby.  Whether you were trying to conceive or not, the responsibility for that small human will be yours – until he or she is grown.  As anyone who has raised teenagers can attest – this is no small feat.  It will hold for you much joy, lots of worry along the way, and some understandable frustration.  It can also bring hardship – it isn’t easy or cheap to financially provide for a child.  However, many parents would do it all over again in a moment, given the opportunity.

 

Adoption.  In days past, adoption had a negative connection to the less than ideal conditions in orphanages.  Even as recently as the 70’s and 80’s, adoptions were almost all ‘closed’, meaning that the birth parent(s) and the adoptive parents didn’t know one another.  All that has changed.  Adoption programs are now often a collaborative process between the birth mother (and sometimes father) and prospective chosen parents.  Birth parents can review the stories of prospects, meet them, and be proactive in their choice of the best possible outcome for their child.  It is even encouraged that they stay in contact with the child throughout his or her life, if that is what they wish to do. 

 

The benefit to the adopted child is huge.  One agency, Adoption Choices of Northern California, provides one-on-one counseling for birth parents to help them make the right choices for them and their baby.  Pre-natal care and even therapy are offered, to support birth parents in a dignified and compassionate manner.  Adoptive parents are offered a way to be involved in the decision making process, and are encouraged to have open and honest communications with the birth parents.  In this way, everyone benefits.  Their success rate is very high, due largely to the respectful and caring process developed by their administration. Citizens for Choice refers all prospective adoptions to this agency through Women’s Health Specialists of Northern California.

 

Emergency Contraception.  If you have had recent unprotected sex (or, as in the quote above, the condom breaks) you may be able to use the ‘morning after pill’.  See our blog https://citizensforchoice.org/the-morning-after-pill-how-emergency-contraception-works/ about emergency contraception.  This pill may be taken up to 72 hours after unprotected sex and can prevent pregnancy from occurring. 

 

Termination.  For some women, abortion is the right choice.  There can be as many valid reasons for this as there are women.  It is normal to have some ambivalence about this procedure, therefore talking with someone who will give you the facts, not pressure you to make a decision based on their values or opinions, is important.  This may be the right decision for you, in your life circumstances, at this time.  If so, finding a clinic that respects your decision and your dignity is critical. 

 

If you are unsure which choice is right for you, Citizens for Choice offers unbiased, compassionate education and information, pregnancy testing with same day results, access to emergency contraception, counseling and exams.  Ultimately, the choice to have a child or not rests with you.  And, be very happy that it doesn’t rest with Mr. Akin, who clearly needs a remedial sex-ed class. 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Who Gets Access to Health Care?

August 2, 2012 By Freddy Zylstra

 “If access to health care is considered a human right, who is considered human enough to have that right?” —  Dr. Paul Farmer, human rights activist

We all agree that everyone in a civilized society should have access to proper health care, including reproductive care.  Aside from the obvious need of families to stay healthy and productive, as a nation our overall health – good or poor – affects everyone.  We don’t live in a vacuum. Even if you are fortunate enough to have great insurance coverage and a healthy bank account, your medical costs and your taxes are impacted at least in part by the economic cost to state and federal programs of those who don’t have health care available to them.  This is not only the obvious – you are footing part of the bill for the often inadequate care they receive, but are also paying long-term for the cost of poor health on children’s ability to learn in school. (An interesting note is that the Federal Employees’ Health Plan and Veteran’s Administration plans cover contraceptive and reproductive health care, one item at the top of the heated argument over access.)

The debate over national health care continues.  Take Senator Chuck Grassley’s comment about government managed healthcare access, which as written would provide some end-of-life counseling. “We should not have a government program that determines if you’re going to pull the plug on grandma.” —Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA), Aug. 12, 2009.  That’s quite a leap Chuck.  Perhaps we should have a new sport added to the Olympics – ‘Political Fact Leaping’.  Of course, the Senator has not declined his own government run federal health plan, which, by the way, ranks in the top 1% of plans by way of providing the best care for the least cost to the consumer.  Tell his Grandma to keep her nightlight on (and since Grassley staunchly supports the second amendment, she might want to have her Glock under her pillow too.)

Access to proper health care is governed by numerous factors, not all of them political.  A paper published by James B. Kirby in 2004 for Princeton University’s Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality looks at the socioeconomic factors by neighborhood.

This paper discusses, in part, the effect of access as it relates to education about healthful habits.  A regular visit to a doctor whom one trusts translates into making positive changes in diet, exercise and environment, including the use of condoms and other forms of birth control.  When an entire neighborhood lacks access to proper healthcare, the environment becomes unhealthy.  Residents learn that this is the ‘norm’ and begin to expect no more.  

Kirby found that in disadvantaged areas, air and water quality were likely to be less adequate, and even police, fire and sanitation was not as accessible. One huge disparity seems to be that preventive care is much less likely to be provided to residents of these areas; in favor of providing what is termed ‘necessary’ – treating illness or other conditions only after they occur; often providing sketchy pre and post-natal care instead of adequate contraception in the first place.

If we dig a little deeper, however, we can find a river of problems regarding access to healthcare that seem to be spreading from poor urban areas out to main street America like a virus.  Rural and suburban areas are full of the working poor, or those who are insured but have to carry such high deductibles they cannot afford to see a doctor.  For many of these people, who some estimate to represent at least 50% of the population, there is no financial assistance available. 

There are other constraints.  Cultural or religious beliefs can not only affect how we seek medical treatment (and where), but it can also determine how successful that treatment will be.  Charles Feng, a PhD Candidate at Stanford University shared his personal experience in a peer-reviewed science journal article http://www.jyi.org/volumes/volume6/issue5/features/feng.html  in which he describes his 78 year old grandmother, a Taiwanese native, having a distrust of Western Medical Doctors to the extent that she flew home to Taiwan to see her regular doctor and get the herbs she needed to treat her chronic bronchitis and osteoporosis.  Psychiatric journals are full of stories about Culture-bound Syndrome, where a patient with a condition such as somatic disorder may have numerous specific complaints that cannot be explained by Western medicine.  Often, folk remedies are successful in ridding the patient of the symptoms.  A case in point is Koro, a psychological disorder characterized by the delusion that the penis is shrinking.  Widespread ‘outbreaks’ have been reported in China with no underlying medical condition. (While it seems doubtful that any American male would even admit to worrying about Koro, they have their own set of worries, represented by the amazing proliferation of little blue pills)   For an interesting list of Culture-bound disorders, see http://listverse.com/2009/08/21/top-10-bizarre-cultural-disorders/

Citizens for Choice advocates access to quality healthcare, reproductive and otherwise.  Through The Clinic!, we provide affordable, confidential family planning services and the most up-to-date, medically accurate information about one’s reproductive health care.  Visit us at www.citizensforchoice.org , or on Facebook.

Missed any of our blogs?  They are all on the website under ‘blog’ and ‘recent posts’.  We aren’t afraid to tackle delicate or controversial subjects and would like to facilitate healthy dialog on any subject relating to reproductive health.  We invite your comments and civilized dialog.

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Health care

The ‘Morning After Pill’ – How Emergency Contraception Works

July 20, 2012 By Freddy Zylstra

Neglect of an effective birth control policy is a never-failing source of poverty which, in turn, is the parent of revolution and crime.

                                                            ~ Aristotle  384 BC – 322 BC

 

Does this quote by the philosopher Aristotle leave you feeling shocked and saddened that we have not seen more progress in the fight for adequate birth control in over 2300 years?  Contraception has always been a controversial issue, evidently.  Consider the current debate over emergency contraception:

Emergency contraception, or the ‘Morning After Pill, is available via Citizens for Choice through Women’s Health Specialists in Chico and Sacramento.  According to the New England Journal of Medicine, emergency postcoital contraception actually prevents ovulation from occurring in the first place.  A peer-reviewed Princeton University article published by the Office of Population Research cites the same conclusion based on their research. http://ec.princeton.edu/questions/ecwork.html

Right-to-life groups such as the National Right To Life Committee (NRLC) claim that since fertilization can occur within 30 minutes of sexual intercourse, it is possible that emergency contraception actually prevents the fertilized egg from becoming an embryo.  They object to emergency contraception because they feel that life begins as soon as fertilization takes place, even before the egg is implanted in the uterus.  Of course, if a woman fails to ovulate, there is no fertilization whatsoever. 

Websites abound with information about ‘tiny baby boys and girls’ (of course they fail to mention that these are not yet implanted, nor is the sex determined) At this stage, even if the egg has been fertilized, it is technically considered a zygote.  The definition of a zygote is a ‘one-celled organism that has not yet become an embryo, nor has it been implanted’.  It takes approximately two weeks for this to become an embryo.

As we discussed in a previous blog, ( in case you missed it –https://citizensforchoice.org/pro-choice–is-not-the-same-as-pro-abortion/ )    some of the so-called crisis pregnancy centers engage in a deceptive practice in which they ultrasound the embryo, ‘tap’ out a message supposedly from the embryo and claim it is talking – making such mature statements as ‘hi Mommy and Daddy’ in some sort of Fetal Morse Code.  Given the comments found about ‘tiny baby boys and girls’ when referencing emergency contraception, I have to wonder if they have some way of determining sex that has thus far escaped medical science.  Perhaps there is an abbreviated form of communication for the Zygote?  Conceivably (pun intended) they even feel they can communicate with the unovulated egg.

It is clearly next to impossible to change the opinions of those who truly believe that emergency contraception is infanticide (their words).  However, at Citizens for Choice, we feel that no matter your opinion, medical fact is incontrovertible.  As a friend likes to say, ‘You are entitled to your opinion, NOT your facts’. 

For more information on contraception (emergency and otherwise), please contact Citizens for Choice, www.citizensforchoice.org .

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: emergency contraception, the morning after pill

Men and Sex(ual) Health

June 25, 2012 By Freddy Zylstra

“Be careful about reading health books.  You may die of a misprint.” 

~ Mark Twain

 

 

 

June is National Men’s Health Month. 

 

 

Nearly all of us have fathers, brothers, husbands, friends or significant others who are men.  In the midst of a very real ‘war on women’ in this country, one which consumes much of our attention, it’s important we don’t forget the men in our lives.  To be fair, most of the men we know aren’t telling us to put an aspirin between our knees.  They can’t run fast enough.

 

Men’s health issues are often neglected.  Actually, many men are guilty of ignoring their health until they are loaded on the gurney and on their way to the hospital. 

 

Why is this?

 

 

In a 2007 survey for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, at least 30% of men admitted to avoiding going to the doctor unless it was an emergency.  The numbers went up significantly when the problem was sexual in nature. 

 

In part, the problem is that men feel doctors are more empathetic toward women.  A quick look at most waiting rooms in doctor’s offices can give you a glimpse into the reason – most décor and even the magazines cater to women’s tastes.  If waiting rooms were adorned with animal heads and Field and Stream magazines, would women feel welcome? 

 

In 2011, Esquire Magazine conducted a health survey for men.  Among other surprising answers, when men were asked which exam caused them the most anxiety, prostate exams were highest on the list.  This in the face of their overwhelming answer that cancer was the health condition they feared most.  In case you were wondering, over 90% said they could still see their penis when standing, but nearly 50% couldn’t touch their toes.  Makes you wonder if at least some of the 90% were using a mirror. 

 

We will truly have equality only when all people are treated civilly and respectfully, and their valid, but often very different, feelings are considered.  Citizens for Choice is committed to providing services for people in our community regardless of their gender, sexual orientation or family status. 

 

At The Clinic!, testicular exams are offered, as is counseling, testing for STI’s, contraception, and even instruction on using a condom.  Information and referrals are available for vasectomies, if a man feels that is the best choice for him. 

 

Citizens for Choice would like to celebrate the men in our lives, and reach out to those in our community who have questions or concerns about their reproductive health.  After all, choice about our reproductive freedom belongs to each of us.

 

www.citizensforchoice.org

 

Frederika Zylstra, The Written Word Professional Copywriting, is a writer providing compelling web content, mesmerizing speeches, inspiring, informative and thought-provoking blogs for business and more.  She is also the Word Wizard for Wild Women for Business.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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